Critical Section

Re: Cycling

Death Rider! (da da dum)

Sunday,  07/13/08  01:09 PM

Well, I did it (yay me), and it ended up being really fun.  I must tell you with all the double centuries and everything I've done, this was the hardest ride by far.  I'm talking about the Death Ride, 129 miles, 15,000' of climbing, five passes over 8,000' high.  It took me ten hours, which means I spent about eight hours riding uphill at altitude.  And the whole time I was passing people, I actually feel like I did really well.  Wow.

This story really began on Friday, as I drove from my house in Westlake Village to Walker, which is just south of Lake Topaz, where I was spending the night.  You may recall I had decided to drive up Route 33 and visit the San Andreas Fault, and ended up driving on a dirt road across the Carrizo Plain to Soda Lake.  It was amazingly beautiful, a land untouched by man, I highly recommend it.  However just there, miles from nowhere, I had a flat tire.  I mounted my token spare in 105o heat and took off for Bakersfield to find a new tire.  Two hours and about thirty phone calls later, I managed to locate a 285/35 ZR19 (a weird size, basically a racing tire) and two hours after that I was on the road again.  The whole incident cost me six hours and I couldn't recover, limping into Walker at 1 AM.  And I had to get up at 4 AM to get to the ride.  Yawn.  Coffee was definitely a performance enhancing drug.

As for the ride itself, the route profile pretty much tells the story:

the Death Ride profile

Death Ride profile
(click to enbiggen)

You start in Markleeville, about 5:30AM, and begin by climbing up to the Monitor Pass (8,314') from the West, about 8 miles at 7%.  We did this as the sun was coming up, really spooky.  After cruising across a beautiful high meadow, you descend down down down to Lake Topaz, the "low point" (about 5,000'), while admiring the beauty of the Antelope Valley (and thinking about the fact that you have to climb all the way back up!)  Then you turn around and climb the Monitor Pass from the East, about 10 miles at 8%.  The sun was blazing already, and this part of the ride is unsheltered.  By the time you reach the summit your legs are nicely toasted, and you are only 1/3 of the way into the ride! 

Death Ride map

Death Ride map
(click to enbiggen)

After descending down to Markleeville, you keep going along the Noble Valley and climb Ebbetts Pass, the high point of the ride (8,730'), an 8 mile climb at 7% which features a sweet 12% grade for the last two miles.  Whew!  The scenery along this climb is incredible, if you can lift your head and look around.  Then you head down into Hermit Valley - more beautiful High Sierra terrain - turn around, and climb Ebbetts again from the West, this time only about 6 miles at 7%.  That's over 10,000' of climbing, and you're only 70 miles into the ride!  After the flying descent down Ebbetts into the Noble Valley you pass through Markleeville (where a nice big crowd applauds your progress), and then ride a false flat North to Woodfords.  Finally you head West up the Carson Pass (8,580'), a long 15 mile climb which starts at 7% and ends over 8% at the top, possibly admiring Red Lake before reaching the summit.  At which point you celebrate (yay!) and sign the ride poster...

the Death Ride finish!

... and then descend all the way back to Markleeville.  And this year for added coolness, it rained on the descent; I was frozen and soaked by the time the ride ended, even though earlier I had baked in the sun.  I really felt bad for all the people behind me, many of whom had to climb up to Carson in the rain.

{ BTW I took a bunch of pictures in case you're interested... }

Now that I've done it, I have to say it was really fun!  Can't wait to do it again next year :)

Update: There are two important things I left out, need to add them for posterity...  first, the SAG for this ride was great.  Thank you thank you to the organizers for running a fantastic ride.  Everything from the start organization to the closed roads to the good food and plentiful water (and V8!) to the sticker people and clipboard people was great.  Second, this was the first time I've ever participated in a ride where iPods were prohibited.  No music!  Ten hours riding without my sound track...  It was weird at first but I got used to it, still, that was probably my least favorite thing.  I'm used to Joe Satriani powering me up those 12% climbs :)

quintuple double - joining the 1,000 mile club

Sunday,  06/29/08  11:28 AM

Yesterday I rode in the Grand Tour Double Century, my fifth this year, and have joined the California Triple Crown 1,000 mile club.  Yay, me.  This event was the 50th anniversary of the  original double; 50 years ago a group of century riders at the L.A. Wheelmen Club bet each other they couldn't ride 200 miles in a single day.  I completed it in 11:52 riding time, 13:55 overall, which I'm pretty happy about considering the amount of climbing - 8,300' - and the heat.  (I lost six pounds, clearly didn't drink or eat enough, and am rectifying that at this moment :) 

As usual I rode with my friend Mark Burson; here we are at the fifth checkpoint, 115 miles in, we're smiling because it was a nice day and there was food at this stop...

Ole and Mark - the Grand Tour

This wasn't the easiest double I've ridden - that would be Solvang - but it was the easiest for me; there is still no such thing as an easy double (there is always at least one point during the ride where you question your sanity) but I think I'm gradually getting used to spending that much time riding all at once.  My biggest problem on this ride was food; usually there is stuff at every checkpoint, but for some reason in this ride there really wasn't; well okay, they had bananas and orange slices and such, but how about some sandwiches, some power bars, something with calories?  I resorted to drinking [real] cokes, a source of sugar, but not exactly real food.

Next up - the Death Ride (dum dum dum), which is a mere 129 miles, but features 15,000' of climbing...

quadruple double

Sunday,  06/08/08  01:00 PM

Yesterday my friend Mark Burson and I completed our fourth double century of the year, the Eastern Sierra Double.  It was amazing, a great route starting in Bishop, CA, climbing up through Mammoth Lakes and June Lake to Mono Lake, and then back through the East Sierra badlands near the Nevada border, for a total of 10,000' of climbing.  The highlight was definitely the last 30 miles from Benton, downhill and downwind, averaging near 30mph all the way.  Took me 14:07 of riding time, which I'm pleased with considering the amount of climbing, and the altitude (most of the ride is above 7,000', and portions peek over 8,000').

Here's a picture of me at the 130 mile mark, having just crested the Sagehen Summit.  Note the amazing Sierras in the background.

at the Eastern Sierra Double

This was also my third consecutive weekend doing at least 100 miles; last weekend I rode the Ojai Century, and the weekend before a 100-mile training ride.  Next weekend?  Father's Day!  I will do nothing :)

By the way, some of you may be wondering what's happening with Ole's Ride for Cancer.  Well it is very much still something I'm going to do, I'm making plans for the Furnance Creek 508.  I just need to get organized about managing sponsorships, thanks for your patience and please stay tuned...

back in the saddle

Sunday,  06/01/08  09:48 AM

Yesterday I rode the fabulous Ojai Valley Century with my friend Tim Huber.  It was a great event; interesting and beautiful route, good organization, perfect SAG, and [thanks to the organizers] excellent weather.  It wasn't the hardest century I've ever ridden - two good climbs, about 5,000' total - but we rode it at a nice brisk pace; I finished in a respectable 5:45 riding time.

One of the cool things about the ride was a professional photographer strategically positioned at the bottom of a descent; here's what I looked like:

Ole - Ojai Valley Century

If you're a regular reader you may be wondering how my chest felt; well, let's just say Motrin is a good thing :)  I will say sleeping seems to hurt more than riding, so I've been riding more and sleeping less... 

Next up: the Eastern Sierra Double Century next weekend.  Stay tuned for that!

breathless victory

Sunday,  05/04/08  07:24 PM

Yay, I made it!  Yesterday I completed the Breathless Agony century, 114 miles and 12,300' of climbing, including the final climb to the Onyx Pass above Big Bear, at 8,443' above sea level.  It was really great, in fact, I have to say this was the best organized and supported cycle race in which I've ever participated, right down to the fantastic chili meal served at the finish.  The weather cooperated nicely too, not too warm in the flats, and not too cold in the mountains.  I did wear a light jacket for that 38 mile descent at the end.  Yeah, that's right; after you reach the Onyx pass, you go downhill at speed for nearly two hours to the finish.  It makes you appreciate all the climbing!

(You guys may be getting tired of my post-race reports, but too bad; this is my blog, and I'm a cyclist, so some cycling is inevitable :)

The Breathless Agony mascot is the grim reaper; he was at the summit to help me celebrate:

breathless summit!

This race is timed to the summit; I made it in 6:15, and I'm pretty proud of it.  Even more bragworthy, on the last two climbs I was not passed by anyone.  (We won't mention the people who finish in five hours, who were already up the road; they're disgusting :)  All in all a great ride, I can't wait to do this one again next year.

Next up is the Eastern Sierra Double, in the area around Mammoth Lakes.  Stay tuned for more...

Ole's ride for cancer

Thursday,  05/01/08  10:57 PM

As you saw, I have been accepted to compete in the Furnace Creek 508 bicycle race, "The Toughest 48 Hours in Sport".  This is a pretty incredible event; competitors have 48 hours to complete 508 miles through Death Valley and the Mojave Desert, including 35,000' of climbing.  For some people it is a race to see how fast they can do it, for me it will be a contest to see if I can do it.  It will be one of the hardest and coolest things I've ever done.

LiveStrong - Lance Armstrong FoundationTo give myself extra motivation, I'm asking all of you to sponsor me, and will donate the proceeds to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  You may know, in addition to being one of the greatest cyclists of all time, having won seven consecutive Tours de France, Lance Armstrong is also a cancer survivor, and his foundation is prominent in funding cancer research, raising awareness of cancer, and most importantly helping cancer victims and survivors.  It is a wonderful organization and [I think] a very appropriate recipient of whatever donations I am able to raise in this way.

If you are interested in sponsoring me and making a donation to the Lance Armstrong Foundation, please let me know.  Your interest will be a pledge, and if I am successful in finishing the race, I'll let you know so you can make a donation.  The race is this October 4-6, and I'll post / email progressively more information as that date gets closer.  I also plan to post periodic updates so everyone knows how much money we've raised together!

I am pretty excited about competing in this race, but also pretty daunted by the difficulty.  In the middle of the night on Saturday, with 250 miles ridden and 250 left to ride, the idea that I'm helping to raise a bunch of money for cancer will be a great motivator.  Thank you in advance for your sponsorship (!), and stay tuned for more details...

Furnace Creek, here I come

Thursday,  05/01/08  10:34 PM

From:

508 Race Office [raceoffice@the508.com]

Sent:

Thursday, May 01, 2008 6:18 PM

To:

Ole Eichhorn [ole@pacbell.net]

Subject:

Furnace Creek 508

Attachments

2008entry508.pdf

Hello and congratulations!

You have been selected to compete in the 25th Anniversary Furnace Creek 508 on October 4-6, 2008, "The Toughest 48 Hours in Sport".  You are part of a select group who will participate in this world-famous spiritual odyssey through Death Valley and the Mojave Desert.  We look forward to sharing the experience with you!

To confirm your spot in the race field, please submit the appropriate Furnace Creek 508 entry fee and the attached three-page Pdf form WITHIN ONE WEEK.

2008 will be an extra special edition of "The Toughest 48 Hours in Sport" as we celebrate the race's 25 year history.  Thank YOU for being a part of history!

Best of luck with your preparation and please let us know if there is anything else that we can do to help.

Sincerely,

Chris Kostman
Chief Adventure Officer, Race Director, and Totemizer
AdventureCORPS, Inc.
http://www.the508.com


Yay, I made it!  Or maybe, crap, now I'm in for it...  Whew.  There are two tragedies in life, not getting what you want, and getting what you want.  Which is this?  Stay tuned :)

  

contemplating breathless agony

Sunday,  04/27/08  09:52 PM

This Sunday night finds me contemplating Breathless Agony, a century in which I plan to ride next Saturday.  This appropriately named ride features 12,000 feet of climbing in 114 miles, and reaches 8,443' at the Onyx summit above Big Bear Lake.  Here's what the route profile looks like:

Breathless Agony route profile

Here's the route map as plotted on Google Maps:

Breathless Agony route map

There are four main passes, the Jack Rabbit is 4 miles at 4% (max 8%), the Oak Glen is 5 miles at 6.7% (max 16%), the Damnation Alley is 11 miles at 5.2% (max 10%), and the Onyx Summit is 9 miles at 4.4% (max 10%).  That is two Cat 2s and two Cat 1s.  In fact Damnation Alley could be an HC.  This could be a Tour stage, it is that tough.

Extreme rides require extreme measures, I am considering removing my aero bars for this ride.  I won't need them, and they're just another pound to lug up the hills.  That will require rewiring my computer, but so be it.  Another key decision is whether to use bottles or a camelback; bottles are lighter, but with a camelback it is easier to drink continuously.  There are SAG stops at the top of each climb, so some don't take water at all.  I think I'll stick with my trusty camelback, this is no place to bonk.

Should be fun!

triple double

Sunday,  04/06/08  11:19 AM

Well, I did it, or actually I must say we did it; my friend and riding partner Mark Burson and I successfully completed the Hemet Double Century yesterday, making our third double this year and hence we have become - ta da - California Triple Crown winners.  We are [very] sore and [very] tired today, and [very] happy.  And more than a bit proud of ourselves :)

triple doublers
A couple of happy guys - we did it!


This story begins over a year ago, when Mark rode the Solvang Century in March 2007.  At about the thirty mile mark he had a bad fall and thrashed his hip.  He struggled to finish the century but did so, complaining of severe pain in his knee.  Making a long story short after some false diagnosis he discovered he had cracked his hip.  In fact, he had the Bo Jackson problem where the blood supply to his hip was interrupted, and he ended up getting his hip replaced on April 7, 2007.  Mark that date.

Being an avid cyclist and tough guy, Mark hatched a plan to rehabilitate via long rides, and set a goal of achieving the triple crown; three double centuries in one year.  And he got me, somewhat reluctantly, to agree to join him.  That was late last summer.  We began by doing the Lighthouse Century together last September; Mark's first long ride after getting a new hip.  That was a great victory for him and we discovered we enjoyed doing centuries together.  (I can't link a blog post, because, well, I wasn't blogging last year.  Boo.)  You can't do these rides with just anyone; you need someone of compatible speed and climbing ability, and also compatible temperament :)  I mean, we're talking 6-15 hours together.  Flushed with success we rode the People Powered Ride the following weekend, two centuries in a week, and that "worked".  Then we rode a 200K together in January (125mi) - which at the time was the longest ride I had ever done - and then a 300K together in February (185mi) - again a personal longest.  And then we completed the Butterfield Double in mid-February, the first leg of the triangle.  It was tough, but we did it.

Which was all nothing compared to recent events.

Last weekend we rode the Solvang Double together in fine style, with no problems.  The second leg was done.  Victory was at hand.  All that was left was one more double century, yesterday - the Hemet Double - billed as the easiest of the three.  (Although it must be said, two doubles on consecutive weekends is not for the faint of heart or the out of shape :)


The Hemet Double is organized as two loops, each 100mi; many people ride just the first loop as a Century, and others ride both as a Double.  The first loop is easier, but we were warned at registration that the second loop had been changed from previous years and was now "a bit tougher".  Riight.

We begin the first loop at 6:30, cruising through Hemet and Morongo Valley with no problems.  Until, at about thirty miles (!), Mark has a bad fall and comes down heavily on his [new] hip.  His hand and arm are bleeding, and he is sore everywhere.  Oh no!  What will this mean?  Can he ride another 170 miles?  Being an avid cyclist and tough guy, Mark gets back on his bike.  A little first aid, some ducktape, and we're off. 

We finish the first loop in a bit of a funk.  The weather is crummy; cold and overcast, with a stiff wind.  The loop isn't that hard but with the wind it isn't that easy, and anyway 100 miles is 100 miles.  Our riding time is 5:30 for the first loop, 6:30 elapsed, not bad but not our best.  We eat lunch, our spirits revive, and we take off on the second loop.  Mark's hand is sore and his arm is thrashed, but fortunately his hip seems okay.  It looks like he/we might make it...

The second loop is a killer.  The first 25 miles features serious climbing up Sage Canyon, and we reach the first checkpoint at Vail Lake exhausted, with 75 miles left.  Next comes a thrilling eight-mile decent down Pala-Temecula Road into the Pala Indian reservation; the whole way down I'm thinking "crap, we're going to have to get all this vertical back".  And so we do; after a terrifying encounter with fast traffic on 76 (no bike lane and no shoulder) we have to come back up Rice Canyon, mile after mile of climbing.  By the time we reach the second checkpoint at Rainbow, with 50 miles left, we are toast.  Normally in a double when you have "only" 50 miles left, you feel like you're basically done, but this is different.  The concern has shifted from whether Mark will make it due to his injuries to whether we will make it, period. 

The next section takes us mile after mile through the Lake Skinner recreation area - in the dark - up and down through rollers which are progressively steeper.  Well probably they aren't, but they feel that way.  We are on autopilot, legs moving, brains numb.  Failure is not an option.  Finally we make it to the last checkpoint - yay! - with only 25 miles to go.  And this time it really does feel like the home stretch; we could have carried our bikes 25 miles if we had to, the finish felt that close.  And can I just thank the organizers for providing hot chili at the last checkpoint; that was a key feature.

Finally we have just ninety minutes left: a little blundering about near Menifee Lakes, another brush with fast traffic and no bike lane - this time in the dark - and all right whew yes YES! we have made it.

{For posterity I will note our riding time for the second loop was 6:30, elapsed time 7:15, for a total of 13:45 elapsed overall.  Incredible considering the vertical, over 10,000', with the bulk of that climbing concentrated in the last 100.}

So you marked the date, right?  Yes, as I mentioned, tomorrow will be the anniversary's of Mark's hip replacement.  So he was able to achieve the triple crown within a year.  A pretty remarkable achievement; there are plenty of people with artificial hips walking around, but not so many who have ridden three double centuries within a year of getting them.  Amazing.


As for me, now I have to ask what's next?  The Furnace Creek 508?  Just kidding!  Or am I...

another double

Sunday,  03/30/08  10:01 AM

More cycle-blogging: Yesterday I completed the Solvang Double Century - 200 more miles.  (Yay!)  This was a great ride all the way up the central coast to Morro Bay, and then back down again, with a little climb through Drum Canyon to wrap it up.  Took me 10:58 of riding time, which is pretty darn respectable, and 12:45 overall.  This is over two hours better than I did in the Butterfield Double, and although that one was harder (more climbing), I've made pretty good progress.

Here's me and Mark Burson, my riding partner:

Solvang Double - Mark Burson and me

Next up for us is the Hemet Double Century next Saturday (yep; that will be two doubles in eight days).  If we survive that we'll have achieved the California Triple Crown!  After that, who knows...  maybe we'll have to do the RAAM :)

6,608 miles... and counting

Wednesday,  03/19/08  09:08 PM

cycling!One year ago today I decided to start a log of my bike rides.  I can't remember why, but after years of "just riding" I sat down and created a little spreadsheet, and have since made one row entries for each ride; the route, the miles, and the time (if known).  This is pretty cool, because now I know that in the past year I did 210 rides, for a total of 6,608 miles, an average of 31 miles per ride, or 127 miles per week.  Wow, that is so cool!

Without having previous years' metrics to compare I can't be sure, but I have to believe I have ridden more often, and further, as a result of keeping this log.  There were days when I really didn't feel like riding - maybe it was cold, or I was busy, or there was a ready procrastination handy - but I did it anyway to keep up the pace.  Watching that little plot creeping upward was an ever-present inspiration.

I believe this is an excellent example of the metric magic.  For me, measuring works.  Your mileage may vary :)

I did it again

Saturday,  03/08/08  07:31 PM

At this point riding centuries is a bit old hat for me, so perhaps I should stop posting about it.  After all I've sort of moved on to longer rides now; a "mere" century cannot be that interesting, right?  But today I successfully completed the Solvang Century (da da dum), with about 4,000 participants, and anyway it was a great ride so heck I'm going to post about it.  So yeah I did it, riding time 5:32, which considering the wind was pretty darn good.

Solvang Century - Ballard Canyon
Here's a picture of me at the top of Ballard Canyon, with about 10 miles to go;
it is notable for the house in the distance, which is my absolute dream,
a gorgeous mansion surrounded by Pinot Noir vineyards.
Hey, everyone needs a stretch goal, right?

Next up for me is a double-double at the end of March; the Solvang Double, followed the following weekend by the Hemet Double.  400 miles in 8 days.  That should keep me out of trouble :)

I did it! - 200 miles!!

Sunday,  02/17/08  09:32 AM

Yesterday I completed my first double century - the Butterfield!  I am rather proud of myself.  This makes the third long ride I've done this year; I started with a 200K (125mi), then did a 300K (185mi), and now, a full double.  Took me about 13:15 in riding time, 15:20 overall, with about 9,200' of climbing.  Unfortunately most of that vertical was in the last 50 miles, in the dark, after my legs were nicely toasted.  But I made it.

Here's a picture of me at about 120 miles, when I was still able to smile:

at the 120 mile mark

Actually I was able to smile at the end, too.  And better yet, I'm able to smile today.  I am a bit sore, but not amazingly so.

Onward!  I have to complete at least two more doubles this year to become a triple crown winner...  stay tuned!

riding up rockstore

Saturday,  02/09/08  08:02 PM

I ended up riding up the [infamous] Rockstore climb.  From my house this is a 30mi loop, about 15 miles to reach the climb, 3 miles up, and then 12 miles back.  This ride also features a couple of smaller climbs and a spiffy descent down Decker Canyon, as well as some nice flat powering, so it has a little of everything.  And it is beautiful!  This is some of the best riding anywhere...

BTW I'm not the only one who thinks so; check out this article from Competitive Cyclist, reporting on Team CSC's training in these very hills: "The general area around Agoura Hills - our understanding is that it basically straddles the Ventura/Los Angeles County line - might possibly hold the best riding in America.  In previous years we've logged big miles around Encinitas, Santa Barbara, and San Francisco, and we're fond of all those places.  But none of them matches the mix of savage climbing, spectacular scenery, and lack of traffic we found around Agoura Hills."

I thought you might enjoy some snaps of the ride, so I whipped out my trusty Treo; here ya go...

Yay 300K!

Saturday,  02/02/08  10:50 PM

Yay, made it.  It being the PCH Rando 300K.  Yes, that is 185 miles, and yes, that is a long way.  It took 14:39, at an average speed of 15mph.  (You start in the dark, at 6:00AM, and finish in the dark, at 9:00PM, and spend the time in between eating and drinking and riding.  And fixing flats.)  In addition to being 50% longer than the 200K I rode a few weeks ago, there was more climbing (over 8,000') and headwinds out and back.  It was a great ride; we had nice weather (except for the wind) and once again the ride organization was excellent.  Thanks to Mark my riding partner, who continues to impress me as he does these rides on an artificial hip.  Wow.

on PCH, en route to Casitas, Goleta, etc.
Me on PCH near Malibu, en route to Lake Casitas, Goleta, Carpinteria, and back...

189.8 miles!
300K = 189 miles + 8,000' = one tired rider

You might ask, why do I do these rides?  I have no idea.  It must be fun?

Yay 200K!

Saturday,  01/12/08  06:39 PM

I did it!  Completed the PCH Rando 200K, took me 7h 20m, for an average speed of 17.5mph.  Yay,me!  Good weather, great support - thank you Bobbi Fischer and your whole team - and great company - thank you Mark and Peter.  (Peter did his part by acting as a lightning rod, he had four flats!)  Awesome.  Oh and I lost 3lbs, despite eating eight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, two bananas, and two Clif bars, and drinking 120 ounces of water and 20 ounces of Gatorade.

Ole at the 35 mile mark.
Me at the 35 mile mark.  Smile, dude!

127 miles
Done!  200K = 127 miles.  Whew.

long day's journey into Lagos

Sunday,  09/09/07  01:51 AM

Ole at the Lagos de CovadongaSO I was in Spain on business, so I decided to visit the Vuelta.  Stage 4, one of the nastiest climbs the Pro Tour ever rides, from Cangas des Onis to the Lagos de Covadonga.  And yes, I rode it myself.  Here’s my report...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A perfectly incredible day: La Vuelta eTapa 17e

Wednesday,  09/13/06  04:44 PM

Ole on Alta de Monachil outside Granada, Spain So, I’m in Granada, Spain, and I’m going to watch stage 17 of the Vuelta a Espana, which finishes one street over from my hotel.  I want to see the last climb of the stage, a Cat 1 climb up Alto de Monachil, a legendary black hole for cyclists, and I ended up riding it myselfHere's a play-by-play...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

second gear

Monday,  11/21/05  07:55 PM

Back in the dawn of time, when I was 30, my life was somewhat in limbo.  I was in between marriages, and decided to take a creative writing class at a local college.  I wrote an essay called "Second Gear" in one go, and I am absurdly proud of it; the feelings ring as true for me today, fifteen years later, as they did then.  Makes me want to go ride the ol' Santa Susana pass again (although now I'd have my 15lb Kestrel with 18 gears). 

Anyway here it is, for your reading amusement, Second Gear...

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