Critical Section


Saturday,  11/22/08  10:59 AM

180!180...  as in, 180lbs.  That's my weight *now*, plus or minus, and it's stable.  Furthermore, for the first time in many years - certainly longer than I can remember - I don't want to lose any more weight.  If I stay here, I'm good.

I'm not writing this to gloat, because believe it or not, this isn't such a good thing.  Most of us are worried about our weight, most of the time.  (If you're not, you're definitely male, and probably under 40, and most likely under 30 :)  I've always had this feeling that if I lost weight, my life would improve.  The way in which my life would improve was hazy, but the fact that it would improve was definite*.  I don't know if this is cultural or innate, but it was real.  Now that I'm 180 and don't want to lose any more weight, this is it; my life is not going to improve.  Well, at least not on account of losing weight... this is all really shallow, I know... what can I say.  But it's not such a good thing to lose the hope :)

* Update: I have the answer.  The way in which your life will improve: you will like yourself more.  And hence, through Ole's Theory of Happiness (def: happiness comes from liking yourself), if you lose weight you will be happier.

If you're a longtime reader, you might recall my New Year's Resolution at the end of 2004; at that time I was steady at 205 and not happy about it.  Despite making that resolution nothing changed, and at the end of 2006, two years later, I still weighed exactly 205.  But something happened after that, I started cycling more and eating less, especially snacking late at night less, and by May 2007 I was down to about 190**.  (That's when I [temporarily] resumed blogging.)  All through 2007 I hovered around 190, and on January 1, 2008 I was still 190, having successfully navigated the holidays.  Which was good, but I still wanted to lose more weight, I was still gripped by the "my life will be better if I lose weight" meme.  This year I've ridden more than ever - way more - and mostly as a result, I've lost more weight.  For most of the year I was at 185, which was great, but still I wanted to lose more, and still I felt like if I did my life would improve.  Then in mid-September I got really sick, lost about 10 pounds, only regained 5 of them, and now poof! I'm 180.  (So that's it, my weight loss tip of the day; get really sick.  It is unpleasant, but it works :)

** Update: I remember part of the something that happened.  During the winter of 2006-07 my friend and riding partner Peter Simons lost significant weight through eating better and riding more, and began periodically kicking my ass on local climbs.  I realized the only way to stay with him was to reduce the size of my ass, and this gave me incentive to lose some weight.  With each pound I lost I climbed faster, and the effect on my riding gave me feedback to keep losing weight.  You have to get the snowball rolling...

So that's it - I've caught the rabbit, now what?  I can take pleasure in the accomplishment (I do) and in looking better (I do) and in having to have clothes altered to fit (I did).  And I can enjoy blogging about it!


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