It is the day before the night before Christmas, and I am in the weirdest of all possible moods. Some parts of my life are excellent; I have a lightness of heart and energy and sense of momentum. And some parts are crummy; among other things, this big old oak that we've had in our backyard has passed away, and with the rainstorms has become a hazard, and I have a team of tree people taking it down today.
I guess the oak symbolizes how I feel; it has been great, but all great things come to an end, and sometimes change is necessary and good. I don't have immediate deliverables in any direction, and am using the end of the year to think, and plan, and dream.
Do you send Christmas cards? We do... and we get a lot of them too, and reading through them reinforces my feeling of weirdness; elation and wonder and sadness. You see all these friends and their families, and get a peek into their lives (lots of people are writing 'Christmas letters' now, more than I can ever remember), and it makes you think. We all have one life to live, one path to choose, and so many choices; and we make many of them on autopilot, choosing the defaults, continuing the journey.
For many people the permanence and stability of a single course is comforting, but not for me; I think the greatest sadness in life is the road not taken. I want to take them all!
[Update: the oak is gone. The feeling in the backyard is weird but not horrible; like most change seemed like it would be worse than it was.]